Forgive easily.

How I get down to work.

I put a ton of work into ramping up for work.
I make a practice.
I get up every day at dawn.
I put my clothes out the night before.
I go somewhere special.
I wear my favorite shirt.
I pray for luck.
I drink a bunch of coffee.
I work out.
I think about super heroes.
I have a special app that's only for writing.
I make playlists of special to support my writing.
It's a big deal.
I invest a lot.
And then I expect a lot.

When the work falls through.

You might expect that when a work day falls through I take it really hard.
That I look at everything I put into it, all the time and effort gone to waste, and I beat myself up.
You might expect me to kick and scream and whine and then go home and mope.

In fact, I believe the opposite is necessary.
It's certainly better. Doesn't it sound better?
Of those two ways of responding, one is the path of drama, the other is the path of ... what?
Calm. Maybe it's nice to call it non-responding.

I'm not advocating that you bury any feelings you have about your work day.
Some days are really frustrating.
I have no desire to deny that.

Without trying very hard, I can think of at least a dozen days that really pissed me off, just in the last year.
(And hundreds throughout my creative career...)
I'm thinking of days when I go to a coffee shop to work and the place is full of screaming children that even my most expensive headphones can't block out.
Or – and this might be the most common example – when I go somewhere to work on a website, or to send emails, and the internet is out.
Not just that the router needs reset, the net is just down and not coming back.

When I was a younger, a more hormonal and dramatic person, I would let it get to me.
I would kick rocks, and slam the car door.
Heck, it was easier to be mad then to do the work, so sometimes I really leaned into it.
And, most disappointingly, I'd let that singular, frustrating experience dominate the entire day.
I would completely fail to work on the website, because the internet at the coffee shop (or whatever) momentarily got in my way.

I'd like to suggest that there's a happy medium, which includes neither ignoring your feelings nor losing your shit.

The happy medium.

Give the feelings some space.
Give them some time, if that's what you need.
Express them in a healthy way.
Have a good cry or take a brisk walk.
Have a quick bitch sesh with a friend who's okay with it.
Find something that works for you.

And by "works for you," I mean a non-destructive method of expunging those emotions, so that you can move on.
Please don't yell at the coffee shop manager or give dirty looks to the overwhelmed mothers of loud children.

When the emotions are out, and no longer dominating the moment, move on.
And forgive, easily.

That's what I try to do now that I'm no longer so hormonal and dramatic.
I try to forgive easily.
I get that frustration out, and I don't hold it against anyone. I don't glare at children, I smile instead. I don't damn the coffee shop to hell, I move on.

Most importantly, I forgive myself easily.

That's undoubtedly where I have lost the most time being mad.
Being mad and lost.
I cringe, thinking of all the time of lost to being mad at myself.
Layers upon layers of anger.
Mad about everything I'd invested in the moment that got ruined.
Mad that I chose that stupid coffee shop.
Then, mad that I'm wasting time being mad instead of working.
Mad that I'm so lazy and easily distracted.
Later, mad that I didn't find a way to get the work done anyway.
Mad that the whole day was wasted and I just ended up making things harder on myself and being mad about it.

Ignore sunk costs.

Ignore sunk costs.
Lots of people have said that in lots of different contexts.
Do you know what I mean by sunk costs?
Investopedia dot com says sunk costs include "money that has already been spent and which cannot be recovered."
I italicized the important part.
We're not only talking about money, obviously.
It's money, time, effort, energy, self-regulation, materials, resources, HOPE.

You & I invest a whole lot into the moment of action.
Fighting Resistance is difficult.
Getting over that hump can be a whole day's work in and of itself.
Sooooo... YES, it IS disappointing when it gets ruined for us. It feels like a significant loss.

But all that time, effort, money, etc. is gone, and it's not coming back.
All your kicking and screaming can't recover a single red cent.
And it can't replenish the hours you lost.
So what are you going to do?
Keep throwing good money after bad?
Keep flushing your day down the toilet?
Now that your morning is wasted, are you going to waste the afternoon, too?

Learn from my mistakes, friend.

Take what the defense gives you

In Seth Godin's book, The Practice, he says (something like,) "Some days you just have to take what the defense gives you. And come back tomorrow."

That's a pragmatic way of looking at things.
And that phrase helps me to forgive easily.
I wrote it on the white board in my studio (at Savage Rallysport) and it's stayed there for the last eight months.

It's a reference to American football.
Some times, you're on offense, trying to move the ball down the field, and it's just not working out.
You try to pass, you try to run the ball, you do a trick play, nothing works.
Your best bet is to accept it, get the few yards that you can (which makes things easier for when you're on defense) and move on.
There's no point in breaking your back trying to move something that's just not going to move.

Sometimes you just have to let it go.

Some days you really are tired.
Some days your back just hurts.
Some days the muse isn't showing up, no matter how you plead.
Some days the internet is slow.
Some days you're not feeling it.
Some days people let you down.
Some days the going is slow.
Some days you didn't sleep very well.
Some days you're anxious for no reason.
Some days you're depressed for seemingly no reason.

Take what the defense gives you and move on.

Those can all be traps, of course.
Those might be Resistance screwing with you.
Today, you might just be lazy, distracted, or impatient.
You'll need to learn how to be honest with yourself.
You'll need to learn to discern what's actually happening.
You'll need to learn to recognize the voice of bullshit and excuses.
That's something you learn to do through experience, through trying and failing and trying some more.

HOWEVER - some days really just don't go your way.
And when you're having one of those days, I encourage you to forgive easily.
Let it go.
Don't beat yourself up.
All those clichés.
Brothers, sisters, friends, Romans, and everybody here – walk on.

Red Smith says that all you can do is "sit at the typewriter and open a vein."

Erica Jong said you have to "give all you have and never count the cost."

Is that encouraging to you?
I find it comforting to know that I'm not alone.
It's comforting to stand across from those people who have given much and choose to give more.
It helps me to cut out the drama.

Forgive easily.
Don't count the cost.
And don't forget to come back to tomorrow.